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July 15th, 2008

03:36 pm - Life's little ironies Why are some of the "friends" under my friendster account people I would not personally go forward to say a "hi" when I see them face to face and even some whom I may not recognise when I see them in real life? Why did I just put a coin into the donation box but ignore the old lady who was digging into the rubbish bin for aluminum cans? Why does loving someone gives them the ability to hurt you? Why does proclaiming God's name sometimes make me feel empty and hollow? Why cant I only open one window at a time but instead have multiple task running at one go while I surf the internet? No wonder I am getting impatient easily and losing focus so soon. Why could someone be a friend a day and a stranger the other? Why do I refuse a plastic bag from the supermarket but leave the computer idling while I bath? Why does making ourselves so contactable all the time gives me limited space to enjoy my little World occasionally? Why do I think of saving 60 cents from a bus ride but spurge on a useless piece of garment just because it is on sale? Why does $1.55 feels like $155 on some days and $155 feels like $1.55 on others? Why do I only miss my friends when I see them but get on with life when they arent around? Life and their bunches of ironies. I will never be able to understand them completely. Current Mood: weird

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June 19th, 2008

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May 11th, 2008

11:28 am - My chinese has deteriorated I wrote a Mother's Day card in chinese. "Mei ah(the name my mother calls me), your chinese has deteriorated." "Mummy, I havent use chinese since my junior college days. Since four years ago!" I said in my most self-justified tone. "you say I work hard to 筹钱 , it is to 赚钱 ah" Amazing that my chinese had officially drop to grade D and my mother becomes a charity organization. Have you said Happy Mother's Day to your Mother today? Say in the language you are most proficient in. Current Mood: amused

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May 8th, 2008

10:49 am - CHEAP cheap CHEAP Dont we all love book fairs that sell extremely cheap books? You can literally sweep anything in the cart with little sense of guilt. In the humble town of punggol, there was a mini book fair selling cheap second hand books. I remembered going to such book fairs when I was about 8 and going back again at 23, it certainly feels nostalgic. There were our childhood favourites Archie, Garfield, Peanut and Friends, The Beano, The Danny comics series, Enid Blyton's Secret 7, Hardy's boys and Roald Dahl's bed times stories mixed with the 1990s Best sellers like Harry potter, Lords of the Ring and A series of unfortunate events by Lemony Snicket. Bouncing around the fair like the once 8 year old girl, I saw 2 books I knew I immediately wanted. Unable to contain my excitement, I went straight up to the lady vendor and ask if I could unwrap and check the condition of the books. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis in hard cover. The pages were obviously yellowed but how I love the smell of old books. THe NIV Kid's Study Bible with lots of glossy, colourful pictures in it. And all at an amazing price of $9.90! Maybe I am not the 8 year old girl at heart but a middle aged auntie who loves a good bargain. Current Mood: high

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May 6th, 2008

04:09 pm - Redang The beautiful sky of Redang The clear blue sea The coconut tress against the resort chalets The banana boat which we unfortunately did not try Some random people doing random activities The Redang beach is the most beautiful I have seen so far in my life. The sand is soft and the sea is so clear I can see fishes swimming in the deeper water. They can look like paddlepop icecream raindow colour to electric glow in the dark blue. Most of them were brightly coloured. Some swam in shoals while bigger fishes swam alone. You can feel their scales rubbing against your limbs as you swim close to them. I discovered that corals are actually quite hard and pricky because I stepped on a few of them. Closer to the coast, we could see bone-like skeleton remains of corals being washed up. I also seen a baby shark which was about 3 metres away looking pretty harmless and tamed. The snorkeling experience was not to be missed because I think that is the closest one can get to the fishes with limited swimming abilities. The resort was quite a dismay because the floor is pretty sandy and the water supplied through the tap looks murkishly brown. The pipe rust must have gotten into the water making it quite an unappealing sight. The food was also slighly disappointing because the variety was little and we ate barbequed food for dinner throughout our stay in Redang. The street's dessert ABC Kacang was really refreshing and tasty though. Activities at night consist of mahjong session and a drink at the pub. Nothing out of the ordinary. I would go Redang in another decade time but meanwhile I would not get myself into another beach resort unless it is at Hawaii.

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April 27th, 2008

09:04 am - Sat nite out My food! Chicken avocado with whole meal bread. The chicken tasted sun-dried. Liza's 100 years old cow sandwich or maybe it is a 1000 years old. Sharon's yummiest Chicken, thicken cheese with cranberry sauce sandwich. Yee fung, the onion and garlic detector machine and his non-onioned and garliced miserable portion of sphagetti All time favourite walnut carrot cake "murdered". Cause of death: Being forked by 4 unknown greedy people. Another all time favourite stomach filler, the chocolate truffle cake with a scope of belgium chocolate(whatever that is)

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08:00 am - Love makes the world go round and make people very illogical Love can conquer all but it seemed to break all as well. When my brother relates to me stories of girls who threatened to kill themselves when their boyfriend leaves them, I cringe at the fact why people become so illogical when they fall in love(or out of it). I thought that only the minority weak minded people will behave in such a manner and I often wonder where has their innate sense of pride gone to. They can revolved their life entirely on their love interest as though time has stopped. They can hold their breath, break a leg, swing from being an unstable maniac state to total depression over love. All their theories and principles no longer apply. Seemingly anyone who is once so logical when it comes to school work, work, family problems and situational problems becomes "out of their mind" when they encounter the L word. Times like this when I am single and had no love interest in Life, it is easy to look at them and wonder how my friends had reduced themselves to such a state. Of course I remembered times when I was not spared from the irrational nature of love. My lost of beauty sleep and doing exceeding amount to please someone who gave me little attention are some of the symptoms I had caught in the disease Love. Despite all the sound advice that friends can offer, most of it will be filtered off. Friends out there who are tangled up in Love, remember that you have to love yourself before you can start to love others. Love yourself today by eating well and sleeping tight. Do not frown or make a face. The person's Love in return can hardly be controlled but at least we have a little more control over what we can do to get out of it. The illogical nature of Love makes it all so logic to be illogical. Throw those words back at my face when I need them. Or just leave me alone for a while to figure out that it is only me myself that can get me out of those crap. Current Mood: cynical

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April 25th, 2008

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April 5th, 2008

09:19 am - A day in hall I lingered on in hall from friday night to saturday evening because I just wish to take some time alone and study in a quiet, condusive environment. Although I was initially a bit scared after hearing some spooky sounds created by the clanking of the window panels against the grills and the waredrobe door creaking, at least chatting on msn took a fraction of my fear away. As I was bathing, some scenes from horror shows raced through my mind. I thought of the shower temperature hitting to that of boiling water(Idea adapted from final Destination, a hand through the drainage hole to grab my legs(inspired from those Japanese horror shows)or complete power failure in the room. Unable to bath in absolute peace, I had to make the bathing episode a haphazard one. Smacking a generous amount of herbal essence conditioner and rinsing it with gust of warm water, I dashed out after clothing myself, water dripping from my hair and trailing behind me. So relieved to be infront of the laptop, I began to flicker with my hair. "Goodness! Why is my hair so greasy at the ends and it smelled distinctively essenced." Argghhh!! I left a large amount of conditioner UNWASHED. Keeping my eyes shut for a good 2 minutes or so as I put the shower head above my conditioned hair, the minutes felt extended. Remind me to buy leave-on conditioner. Current Mood: scared

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March 27th, 2008

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March 8th, 2008

02:30 pm - Happy Birthday to ME This birthday is kinda saddening though I only have myself to blame. I thought only birthdays that fall on weekdays are lonely but apparently, it feels even lonelier when it falls on a weekend because I thought it is not suppose to be lonely but in the end, it is the still lonely hence the expectation of not being lonely makes me feel lonelier. Kinda get my drift? Firstly, I did not manage to catch up with anyone. I did went out with Margaret to study but the objective is really to study. She got me a card which I am very appreciative. I love cards because cards always summarised the friendship over the year and reading a card will induce a fuzzy and warm feeling. However, She had an hair appointment at night(and she got a test to study for on Monday), leaving my totally free during the night. She did pacify to join her in her hair appointment but by mid noon, my mood was already throughly affected. All I could do was to balance between sulking, putting on a fake smile and wrestling with a bunch of useless tears. Some friends assume that I will have my own programs, telling me to enjoy myself. Which ironically, it is kinda true because I am enjoying being with myself. I always thought I have friends whom I shared a part of my life with yet on occassions like this, I do not even know I have friends. I am just disappointed that I may have friends, even good friends. However, good is never enough. I need to have best friend/friends or is my expectations just a bit unreasonable because everyone priorities can seldom be to celebrate for a friend especially with deadlines running after them. Some other friends seemed to think that I have better friends whom I can celebrate my birthday with and this leave the responsiblities to the pseduo-better friends. Where are the better friends coming from? Fall off from the sky? Some have programs on their own, many are caught up with work, some didnt explain but I presume have their own programs, Yiwei is far away in Australia and therefore studying becomes my best excuse to get out of this loneliness. I do not wish to socialise on a birthday and having a quiet time with my friends whom I feel comfortable with is just what I need. Similarly, I do not wish to impose on friends whom might be inconvenient for them to go out due to some personal reasons. I am not blaming anyone for this issue but I do want to clear some misconceptions. Perhaps it is time I take active action to make my birthday a fruitful one next year by asking people out. Perhaps it wouldnt matter to me much next year? Or do I need to prioritise some friendships and let these people know they matter to me? Or are friends never able to replace the role of a family/lover who are less likely to forsake and leave you alone on a birthday? I am sorry if I disappointed anyone out there when it was your birthday. I could feel the pain right now. If you need someone for your birthday, do let me know because I will try to be there. Thank you for all the smses and well wishes! The truth hurts. Happy birthday to Me! Current Mood: gloomy

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February 9th, 2008

02:32 pm - Run for Love As I picked up the Saturday papers-a usual habit when I get bored over doing work, I saw the Saturday Special Report titled "Aspects of Love", in conjunction with the coming Valentine's Day. As I flipped through, I was immediately captured by the article-Run for your Love. A man in his seventies, running to keep fit, not only for the goodness of his health but for the fitness to take care of his sick wife. He had clocked a pretty decent timing for his marathon too-4hours and 47 minutes which puts me to shame completely. Love for a lifetime doesnt seem like walking in the park with locked hands, getting a bunch of roses during every Valentine's Day or even saying " I Love You" every morning to the one you Love but a change of lifestyle to accomodate or compliment each other-the most practical yet often forgotten aspect of love. Where is my knight in shining track suit? Current Mood: touched

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February 8th, 2008

12:26 am - My love-hate affair with Lunar New Year I have a love-hate relationship with Lunar New year. Dressing up for visiting and ensuring that I am not creating an inauspicious aura around me when I mix white top and black pant together is one big headache. Specks of red accessories are essential for the whole Chinese New year get-up too or not I will get disapproving shake of heads from relatives. This kind of expectation already tire me completely even before stepping out of the house. Next is the food! I know I know. This must be my reason for my love for Chinese new year right? Well, it is only partially true because girls being girls, we can never see food as only our friend. It is our ultimate enemy as well. It requires absolute willpower to say No to the pineapple tarts and kueys of all shapes, colour and sizes. Even mandarin oranges are tempting especially those plump with juices. To add a bit of drama, we always have kind hospitable relatives to shove them beside your mouth and our willpower is immediately reduced to negative infinity. If only food were negative calories and exercise adds calories, it would have been heaven! Making small talks is the next boo of Chinese New year. I am not someone who is fond of socialising, especially towards relatives I only see once a year. There are genuinely nice people but hitting off with them is an entirely different issue. We always have to maintain the "cheese" look on our faces and learn to be sporting as and when the situation calls for. Although those little socialising can be mentally draining and nerve wrecking, it is the times I spent with my cousins which I grew to enjoy. Although some of us can be a generation apart, I appreciate the fact that I can see them grown to be confident young boys and girls, behaving exactly the way I was when I was a teenager. Defying their parents' order(which I still do)in attempt to look cool, refusing to be stroke on their heads and shying away from the adult crowds are just some to name. The bonding session with them over a "gambling table" and a quiet supper away from the oldies is a once in a year affair that I felt I could look forward to each year. I just hope my younger cousins do not start having little boy friends and girl friends because the stress level will be up to my armpit soon! At least, let me have one first. =P Happy Lunar New year to all!! Do you love your holiday and Lunar New year days? Current Mood: cheerful

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January 3rd, 2008

10:30 pm - Happy New year Happy New Year to fellow friends! 2008 is here and gone are the days of 2007. Taking a back peek at 2007, I felt a mixed feeling of relief and regrets. In March 2007(I think), I conquered mount kinabalu! The only mouintain I had ever mounted but I will not let it stop there because in 2008, I will be expecting more actions, greater heights, more difficult terrains, an even more enjoyable experience on the next mountain climbing trip. In the stretch between June till September, I participated in SHAPE 10km run, managing to shave a few minutes off my previous timing. Although an injury got me down which led to me giving up on GE 10km and Standard Chartered Marathon, I will not let the injury get me down again end of this new year. I want to wear the finisher's tee and busk in glory whenever I wear it out to random places looking like a real serious runner(or at least I think so). I also started my first semester in NTU, doing a biological science course. Getting into university was only the first step when I thought it was the destination while I was still pursuing my poly education. In a new environment with new learning style, new classmates, lecurers and a whole lot more of new faces, life certainly went on a 180 degree change. I went through my moments of doubts, disbelief and struggle and hope that the experiences in 2007 will be brought forward to 2008 in which I will be better equipped to tackle what is to come when school starts. Throughout the year, pimples and zits had been popping up on my face in various fashionable formation causing much agony and pain. Although pimples are still coming back now(like the 2 red painful ones on the side of my cheeks) but I am learning a lot more about how to take care of my face and body better. Using purifying, pore-minimising, whitening masks completed with exfoilation twice a week and eating lots of greens and fruits wouldnt go very wrong either. I am a vain pot and I am proud of it! In year 2007, my spiritual walk with God was a plateau. Though I know I believed in God and I could trust in him, I was too "busy" to worship him. The grace I said during lunch was way too short and habitual. Those late night quiet time was spent wrestling with my eye lids to keep them open. In year 2008, I yearned for a deeper fellowship with God and a craving for his words like how I crave for ice cream(without the calories). Do not let myself repeat my resolution in year 2009. Happy New year!! Current Mood: hopeful

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December 1st, 2007

08:47 am - Confession of a couch potato My lime, orange flavoured sports beans and my gel packs with various flavours are lying beneath a stack of my books and notes. My fuel belt is collecting an inch thick of dust on them. The Cytomax powder(For the clueless, it is a sport energy drink)had hardened up and I got to use the back of the spoon to chisel it so as to break them loose. As I chiselled, Thoughts came flowing in my mind..... It brought upon such a big degree of disappointment in me to stop running for about close to 2 months. I am forsaking the Standard chartered marathon this year and had transformed instantly back to a pant-as-I-run-2k jogger after this series of injuries. To me, running isnt just a sport to keep healthy but something that sets me apart and assured me that I am capable of doing a sport well even if I do not have a nature flare for other kind of sports. Some confidence roots from the fact that I could run and it builds me up both emotionally and physically. When will I be ever using those gel and sports bean? I can't possibly eat sports beans for snacks while watching Densha Otoko on cruchyroll right? My running club in charge was sending members tonnes of advices on pre and post marathons and that makes me feel even more dejected from my current disappointed state. I am missing out on the BIG action, the adrenalin rush, the sweat, the anxiety and excitment and the grin on my face when I run past the 42.125 k mark. To add on the misery, my 50 dollars registration fees had gone down to the drain. Hopefully, this holiday will give my body a proper conditioning and allow me to get back to my pre injury stamina but for now, my only desire is to reach out for the cookie jar and continue watching the 6th episode(part 1) of Densha Otoko. Current Mood: disappointed

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November 30th, 2007

10:10 am - calmly frightened Today it is the last day of my exams. Though actually, the time reads 10:13a.m. and my exam is at 2:30p.m.HORRORRRR My exams arent over yet!!! Probably I am nuts to blog at this time but I just felt too saturated to continue studying. Today's paper is a physics related one. This is one of the toughest paper a biology student can ever sit for because biology and physics is like chalk and cheese. The scariest part of this module(at least for me) is that I cannot make head or tail out of the model solutions. In fact, the sweet teacher actually spoon fed us with all the answers knowing so well that that is the only way he can attempt to knock some sense in us. The next scariest thing now isnt the physics module but how I am feeling right now, blogging my sorrows away. I am not sure if it is the peace of God that brings about this coolness in me(yeah, I am so cool! raise eyebrow)or is it a sign of resigning to fate(that I will probably get a Donkey to grace over my transcript or even worse... a Flamingo!!)This kind of calmly frightened oxymoronic feeling is weird but I guess it is better than feeling scarely frightened. Can't wait for my exams to end but I am only 1/8 through my studying life since there are still 7 more semesters to go. To put those sad matters aside, I want to plan out what to do during this well-deserving one month break. 1. Visit underwater world and Dolphin Lagoon 2. Go to nature reserve park 3. Lose some weight and get back in those running shoes 4. Meet up with whoever whom I want to meet 5. Spring clean my room 6. Do rock wall climbing 7. Read more books 8. Go shopping 9. _ _ fill in the blanks_ _ (probably have more ideas after my exams end) 10. Get a tan at Sentosa 11. Watch Lust caution if it is still available 12. Go for buffet If you want to do any of the following with me, drop me a call or sms K?? Current Mood: weird

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September 26th, 2007

05:11 pm - My affair with Running Haha. For this past few months, I had been spending quite a bit on running. It seemed like it is the only other thing I spent on except food. My light weighed New balance running shoes! It is in pink! Apparently, I am dismayed by the fact that I always don't look like I am a runner. I told the new balance sale person I needed a pair of light weighed running shoes for long distance because the current pair is too heavy and is exerting excess burden on my knees. The sale person asked me in a suspicious tone if my long distance means 5km or less? This is just one incident to name. There were several other ocassions as well but I managed to shrug it off or laugh if off. This is my ever faithful new balance running shoes that brought me through all kinds of good and bad weather. This is my fuel belt which makes me feel quite uncomfortable most of the time because it loves bouncing up and down as I move. This is the so called"new technology" socks which helps to evaporate your sweat off so that your feet will be kept as dry as possible. It has a left and right side unlike normal socks which are switchable. Lastly, some fuel gels I bought which are strawberry-banana and mocha flavoured that supposingly could improve performance by quite a bit and make you feel completely energized. Have not tried it yet because I heard from many that it doesnt taste very fantastic and even induce vommiting in some. I have no idea why I am blogging about this. Current Mood: blah

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August 11th, 2007

10:44 pm - The chronicle of Narnia Do you remember the scene in which the Queen of Narnia magically produce a dessert for Edmund which made him so addicted that he fell into the trap the Queen had set up? The dessert being turkish delight! I always wonder how could a dessert entice him to that extent and I got myself a taste of it after some recommendations from Xiang Jing. The turkish delights! Even if it is not magically charmed, I understand why Edmund went back for more. Current Mood: grateful

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August 9th, 2007

08:59 pm - Girl's WORSTTTTTT Night MARE Not again!!! I am tired and weary. GET OFF MY FACE and STOP COMING BACK! Thank goodness friends and stickgirl understand. Current Mood: worried

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August 8th, 2007

09:54 am - Starting School In university, you really have a lot more flexibility in choosing modules and planning your timetable. However being a freshie, you have the least priority because everything is subjected to vancancies of the module. On the first day of school, despite staying only less than 2km from my school of Biological sciences and getting out a good 30 minutes before lecture starts, I was 15 min late because all the shuttle buses were filled to the brim. I knew I should have walked but the up and down hill sicken me most of the time. When we reached the lecture theatre, the entire theatre was filled except for a few "loner seats" in the front of the LT. After a knock of a can of coffee, and a few pushing and squeezing, we finally got our seats. When the lecturer starts rambling about the subject, I realised that I had completely lose touch with what I had studied over the years. Lattice structure, ionic bonding, covalent bond, hydrogen bond, water unique properties, why is it denser at 4 degree than at 0? its specific heat capacity? 1s2, 2s2, 2p6?? the 4s orbitat has lower energy level than 3d??? It is alright if he had recap the topic but he went through it so fast as though science is like ABCs to us. That is when I realised that everyone was right! University is not anything like Polytechnic or even Junior College standard. It is marked way higher. I need to have a lot more discipline and curiousity for the subjects I am studying. I need to be way more consistent than I ever been. I am in a place where people pursue their highest education. Master students pursueing their Ph.D. Ph.D students writting their theisis. Post Doctorate carrying out researches never done before in the world. All these could be found in the grounds of the school. It is that much of actions happening. The queue during lunch time is not much of a cheer giver either. When I was standing in the queue, I almost thought for a second if I was queuing up for Doughnut's factory doughnuts but the smell of Bak Chor Mee brought me back to reality. There is a breakage in the queue to faciliate people walking through can! I could not even find the end of the queue! In the end, I settled for another stall with the shortest queue. The shortest queue indeed lived up to its name and I managed to stop eating at the mid point mark. One of the most horrible lunch I ever had! I know I am being pestimistic but I could not help it. Probably, I need a motivated spirit and cheerful heart to survive well through my years. This is a video of my hostel room. Actually, It looks decently nice and comfortable though I had insomnia the first night. haha. I think I should stop complaining. A complainer really makes a bad day out of everyone. Thank you for those who had encouraged and help me through my first day of school=D Take care and hope to see you all soon! Current Mood: pessimistic

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